From the paws of the The Duchess Hildegard von Biggums:
Well well… I hear BOSS is coming up. That’s cool. Just another few days for my human to obsess about packing her suitcase (which is an excellent scratching post btw) and abandon me. It’s fine.
You know, this time last year I was hanging out on the stairs watching all of the BOSS planning happen. Then my human decided to move to Florida. Silly human. It’s hot here and no one wears sleeves.
But I hear BOSS is cool… minus all of the cat discrimination. What do you mean I can’t walk the red carpet? Kittehs can be fanceh too! I mean, hello?!? Fancy Feast! Had to get its name from somewhere! Plus, they don’t call me The Duchess for nothing! But I digress…
So why are you reading what a cat has to say anyways? A) Because I’m a cat and you had no idea I could even speak English. B) The humans at BOSS knew that I, like you, am an expert at this thing they call the internet; and that I, like you, am particularly good at Twitter. (Side note: Follow me! @DuchessHBiggums) Oh yes… I can hashtag with the best of them. #ImAwesome #BOSSierThanYou #iwanttopayattentiontowhatimwritingbutmyhumanisdanglingfeathersinfrontofme #omgfeathers
The point is, because I am so good at Twitter (Though I really don’t find the name or bird logo compelling… mostly annoying. I don’t trust birds.), the humans at BOSS wanted me to announce this year’s Twitter contest. Now while it is quite evident that I am royalty and therefore actually the Boss of all you humans (or shall I say #BOSScat?), that one human that wears his pants too tight (you know, the tall, lanky one) and the rest of his friends want to know why you think that you’re the Boss. Or really, what exactly are you the Boss of? So, for the next three weeks this is what you have to do (This is so simple that I could do it on catnip):
2. Tell the humans at BOSS what you’re the boss of via tweeted photo, video, clever haiku… you get it.
3. Include the #IMTHEBOSSOF hashtag in your submission. For example:
The BOSS humans will then determine and announce one ”Boss” each week, who will receive Red Carpet Access at the CARAs Live on Friday, April 5, 2013. Hm… that makes one of us. Must be nice to be allowed on the red carpet. I’m not bitter… its fine.
Then one overall winner will also receive access into the VIP Lounge on Saturday, April 6, 2013 prior to the Professional Showcase. Apparently that means being in the same room with some other humans that will be singing on stage at BOSS. I don’t know. My human keeps talking about how good-looking they all are and how well they all sing… I just care about the rubs.
So there it is. Use your internet expertise and tweet away, humans. And even if you don’t win, enjoy your time at the most cat-discriminatory event of the year. Oh… don’t think the #BOSScat won’t still submit to this contest. I will. Because let’s be honest, #ImTheBoss of you all.
Yours for only right meow,
The Duchess Hildegard ”Hildy” von Biggums
P.S. None of this matters if you haven’t bought your All-Access Pass yet. So, silly human, do it.
P.P.S. If you win and have already purchased Red Carpet Access, you will be reimbursed. More money = more catnip. Just saying…